Cedric "NeatoMan" Henry's
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(UmJammer Lammy)
FAQ!
1. Latest Updates
2. FAQ
3. Stages
3.1. Chop Chop's Amazing Paychic Powers
3.2. Firedogs and the way people use them
3.3. 80's Surf Rocking Lagomorph Babies
3.4. Heavy Metal Jet Plane-ing Action
3.5. F**king aye! I need a guitar!
3.6. I'm in hell? But... but... I'm just a guitarist!
3.7. The Big Finale- Refer to the Fruites Dojo for details
4. Secrets
5. Deep Thoughts/Notes
6. Credits
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1. Latest Updates
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4-6-99
Greetings, and welcome to the first ever UmJammer Lammy FAQ! It's a great
honor to be doing this, but I mainly did this FAQ right now so people
could view my ultra-spiffy ASCII rendition of the UJL Japanese logo/
kanji/romanji and an overall premise of the levels of the game. If you
have any information you can send me, I'd be glad to accept it (With the
proper credit given.) Ready?
Let's go!
*BADAP BADAP BADAP BADAP*
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2. FAQ
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Q: Why do you have an FAQ section at this point? Nobody's e-mailed you
about this game yet!
A: I know that, moron. I'm just answering questions that might be asked.
Q: Have you beaten the game?
A: Hell, no. I'm writing this as we play. What the.... DAMMIT! You
screwed me up! Get out of the room!
Q: The import won't work on my modded PSX. What's the problem?
A: This game has one o' dem "modchip protection schemes." If it senses
a modchip on a US Playstation, it'll..... um.... not run. And stuff.
There are two resolutions to this dilemma:
1) Get a GameShark
2) Get a japanese Playstation
or 3) Get a GameEnhancer. (http://www.modchip.com) It doesn't bypass the
function to check what nationality your PSX is, it just works like a
Sega Saturn modification pack, tricking your system is Japanese and,
thus, technically is not a modchip. Plus it uses GameShark codes and
plays FMV and audio. Asskicking, eh?
Q: So how would getting a GameShark help?
A: Well, there is an import bypass code to enter in order to play the game.
the codes are:
90000000 0000
D01DA762 1040
8012A762 1000
Does it not kick ass?
Q: WHGER TEH FUK IZ AN ISO 4 TIHS GAM FRO PALY ON BLEEM!
A: Simple. It's over here: http://www.screw.you.south.park.otaku.com/
Q: Why can't I get this line right in Hell?
A: Think about the stage's setting. It's nigh impossible to get the
level done perfectly. Do you have a clue now?
Q: I replayed a stage, and instead of "now loading" there's a big block
of PSX buttons embossed in chocolate! What does it mean? I know it's a
code, but I don't know how or where to enter it!
A: I have no idea. If anyone knows, please e-mail me at
neatoman52@hotmail.com soon!
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3. Stages
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3.1. Chop Chop's Amazing Psychic Powers (Translation: Now wait a minute!
Who is that?)
Ah, yes. Chop Chop Master Onion. The guy who beats all in PaRappa the
Rapper. The breakdancing vegetable who is impossible to lose against
in a line for the bathroom. This guy kicks ass, and it's impossible to
not like the large root sticking out of his head. Anyhow, Lammy is running
towards the stage door, superbly late for a gig, trying to think up an
excuse that doesn't involve a not-so-cleverly-shrouded reference to
this game's predecessor, that is affectionately refered to as "CaRappa"
by people with less than one brain cell.
*grumbles*
Uh.... Where was I? All right. Lammy gets to the door and, as the stage
hands pop the door open, trips on what I think is PaRappa, what with his
midget status around her and all. I mean MAN! That guy is LITTLE in here!
Even with his leet-ass condom-like ski cap on, he doesn't even measure CLOSE
to Lammy's height! He looks the same size as other people because he stands
when everyone else sits!
Anyway, she trips and falls as the curtains draw for us to see Chop Chop
bust a rather large groove for the rapping bunch. As he is MilkCan's new
vocalist (even though he would have made a great lead dynamic frontman) he
can apparently decide who is in the show or not. Lammy panics and is tossed
a guitar by Katy, of table-dancing fame. And our stage begins.....
Helpful Hints:
#1: All right! This is important! When Peco Peco Master Puddy says for
you to press a button, press it! If you win without this vital skill, then
you must be a leading GameShark encoder or have the omnipotence enough to
make my brain explode right here!
#2: Even if you consider yourself a very large fan of PaRappa and own the
Japanese version, English version, the alarm clock, and the condom-like
ski cap, you will STILL PROBABLY LOSE AT THIS STAGE AT LEAST ONCE! This
game is a LOT more serious when it comes to button timing, and will
probably suck for you if you're new to the rhythym genre!
#3: Even though it might sound cool, don't press square when Chop-Choppity-
Chop tells you to press Triangle! You will lose if you do!
#4: Whenever the screen gets all swirly and "Awful" is flashing, you should
throw your controller at the screen at once! It makes the gimpy people
in the crowd make a face at you and laugh at you for not knowing this
excruciatingly hard one-button combo!
#5: Unlike most pop, rhythym and mainstream stuff, you actually get points
for doing something original! (And by "original" I mean adding on to/
highly screwing up the master's melody so that you don't sound like an
amateur) Hell, you might even get "cool" at some and then break your TV
by chucking your Dual-Shock at the screen from your failing-at-this-ultra-
hard-to-get sequence! Let's all laugh at this stupid rhythymless person!
Do the Macarena, you chump!
So when the stage is finished, Lammy ends up holding a vacuum cleaner in
her hands in place of the guitar. And you'd be surprised how she didn't
notice it until Chop Chop points it out to her. Maybe she noticed how
the neck read "Troy-Bilt" and the whammy bar was making some weird whirring
noises, but you have to admit, she DID kick ass up there. After a pretty
goofy cutscene (Not that it isn't entirely normal for Nana-On-Sha productions,
mind you) the level is finished.
3.2. Firedogs and the way people use them (Translation: B, back off! You're
in the way!)
*COMING SOON* (Play it yourself, dickweed!)
3.3. 80's Surf Rocking Lagomorph Babies (Translation: After School Sale)
*COMING SOON* (Save those groovy vibes for later!)
3.4. Heavy Metal Jet Plane-ing Action (Translation: Now which one is my
right hand?)
*COMING SOON* (Vomiting in terror, biotch!)
3.5. F**king aye! I need a guitar! (Translation: You said anything,
didn't ya?)
*COMING SOON* (They cut the wood real thin for the strings)
3.6. I'm in Hell? But.... but.... I'm just a guitarist! (Translation:
Vital Idol)
*COMING SOON* (It's really Lily Tomlin in disguise)
3.7. The Big Finale- Refer to the Fruites Dojo for Details (Translation:
MILKCAN, That's Us!)
*COMING SOON* (Can I put my father's shop's ad on it?)
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4. Secrets
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*COMING SOON* (The logo has to be really big!)
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5. Deep Thoughts
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*COMING SOON* (Don't cut corners, biznitch!)
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6. Credits
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In any case, credit has to be given to these people for this FAQ (Which
still has a long way to go, but give me time, I just recieved the game a
week ago). First off would have to be Fritz Fraundorf
(fritz@gaming-intelligence.com and www.thegia.com) for kicking some ass
on his page, the now-404 Fruites Dojo on Cosmo Canyon. He inspired me
to see exactly how screwed up PaRappa is, and I infinitely bow down in
front of him.
Kudos goes to Sean Reiley (seanbaby@hotmail.com and
www.oldmanmurray.com/seanbaby) for inspiring me to be more straightforward
in my humor. Go to his page, you'll laugh your ass off at the screwed up
cartoons, advice, and mindless swearing. Seanbaby, in case you're reading
this after a typo in a search for Scary Spice taking it up the ass, you are
a true god.
If you have anything to contribute to this FAQ, or have flames of which I
will respond to with pictures of my ass, or if you just want to say how
you love the description of my showering technique, e-mail me at
neatoman52@hotmail.com and be extremely happy.
