Zork Grand Inquisitor -- Walkthrough When the game starts, you should be facing a signpost. Look at the sign and walk towards Port Foozle (i.e. towards the blue glow). Port Foozle When you click on the town, you should end up on the side of a fish shop. Walk towards the speaker, on the corner of the shop, and you should see a board with a red button and a green button. Press the green button, to make the arrow go up to "That's the spirit!" so that the lady inside the fish shop can't hear a thing. Then move out and click on the box. There should be a fish, a beer can & some ice. Pick up the can, and you will also pick up the rings for a six pack. The alarm will go off, but who gives a rat's ass -- the lady can't hear it. Walk onto the pier, and there will be a machine with a hook on the end. Click on the machine, and put the ring from the six pack onto the hook, then pull the lever on the machine. After the fish gets choked and the hook comes back up, there should be a box attached to it. The box will be dumped on the pier, and open to reveal a lantern. Pick up the lantern and turn around to face the buildings. Go to the big building on the right of the enchanter's guild. Near the door there is a sign that says "Lanterns Repaired". Click the lantern on the door, and Antharia Jack will let you in. Antharia Jack will go to find his wrench, and while he is doing that, click on the brown box near the lantern and grab yourself a cigar. Antharia will come back, & won't give you back your lantern because it's "magic contraband". You will end up out of the building. Turn a little to the left, and keep going until you reach the end of the street. To the right there should be a few "Talk to me Grand Inquisitor" dolls. One them is out of the case. Use you cigar on him, and he will catch alight. Dive into the barrel. Watch Antharia Jack getting caught. Then go back to Antharia Jack's place, pick up the lantern and get the hell out of there. Leave Port Foozle. Go straight ahead, towards the cliff thingy. To the left is a noose. Pick it up, and go back to the signpost. Then go "elsewhere" and follow the path until you get to a well. Use the rope on the well. Climb down the well, and the dungeon master (a.k.a. the lantern) will talk to you & name you Ageless, Faceless, Gender-Neutral, Culturally-Ambiguous Adventure-Person -- AFGNCAAP for short. Then the enchantress Y'Gael will give you an automatic spell casting book. You will be facing the door to the underground, and there will be a bucket to the right of this door. Retrieve the subway token from the bucket. Then use the spell REZROV to open the door and enter the Great Underground Empire (GUE). The Great Underground Empire Crossroads If you face the dragon and turn a little to the right, you should see a thingthat looks a bit like a hockey puck. This the totem holding the imprisonedspirit of Griff. Pick it up. Then go to the glass case on the wall to theleft of the dragon, and use REZROV to open it. Pick up the hammer, close thedoor, use the hammer on the glass, and the bonds holding the sword and map willbe released. Pick them up. Then cast IGRAM on the umbrella tree to the left ofthe case, to turn the umbrellas invisible. There is a scroll in one of them,but you can only get it later. Walk to the crossroads (i.e. in the middle of the intersection) and opposite the bridge there should be a little door. Go towards it and use your sword onthe vegetation. Dungeon Master's House Once you're through the undergrowth, there should be a storage shed in front of you. Use REZROV to open it. Pick up the shovel and the THROCK spell. Go to the Dungeon Master's house. The security system won't let you in. There is an cylinder on the left, near the Quelbee hive. It is an ashtray. Put your cigar in it. Then pour the beer into the birdbath, on the right. You need more for it to do anything, so come back later. Go to the side of the house, and click under the window. Use THROCK on the mushroom thingy. Turn around and insert your map into the teleporter. Go to the crossroads. Walk to the arch that has above it "In Magic We Trust". Use REZROV on the door. GUE Tech There are three tests you have to pass to get to the magic school. For the first one, match the bottom two rows to the volcano top. For the second one, match them to the thing with the Z on the top. For the third one, the first row is the top of the window with the green leaves & stuff around it. Leave the bottom the same and turn the middle one until you get the right one. You will hear a sound, and a window will appear. Click on it to enter GUE Tech. Then exit via the door, not the window. Turn around and go up the stairs again. Use the shovel on the pile of dirt on the right, and you should get the KENDALL spell. Teleport to the crossroads, and use the subway token to enter the Great Underground Underground Station. Use KENDALL on the subway instructions. Go to Hades. Hades Go to the skeleton sitting in the chair, and get the scratch card. Open the inventory and put the card on the viewer. Now you can play. There is a yellow square. From there, click on the squares up, left, up, up, left, up, left, left, down, left, left, down, left, down, down, right, down, down, right, right, up, right, up, up, up, left, & then up to get the money. Enter Hades, and use the teleporter to go GUE tech. GUE Tech Enter GUE tech, and go straight to the machines in the back. Use the 500zm bill in the change giver. Open the drawer, get the coins and you will have a handy little sack filled with zorkmids. Go to the crossroads. Flood Control Dam #3 Use the subway to get to the Flood Control Dam #3. Open the book to get the OLGATEM spell. Zoom in on the controls, & if you want, you can build a bridge over the water. Useless but fun. Use REZROV to open all the doors, then press the first button, & then the second button to close all the doors and flood GUE tech. There is a drainpipe on the wall near the map of the subway. Click on the bottom of it, and use THROCK on the Moss of Mareilon. Pick it up, and put a zorkmid in the souvenir press to the left of the subway map. Pick up the souvenir letter opener, go back to GUE tech. GUE Tech Go to the back again, and put the perma-suck vacuum on the hole at the bottom of the candy vending machine. Buy a pack of Zork Rocks (number 8). It will get stuck, but that doesn't matter. Turn on the perma-suck. Open the hatch on it, and retrieve the Zork Rocks. Buy candy #11 from the candy machine. Put a zorkmid in the machine opposite the candy machine and buy a "Sandwitch". Get the ice-cream bar. It will turn out to be the OBIDIL scroll. It won't be put into your spellbook until you run it through the spellchecker later. Go and look at the sign above the corridor to the right of the fountain. It should be marked as the "Infinite Corridor". Use IGRAM on the word "infinite," so that the sign becomes "corridor". Go to the end of the corridor, and look in locker #8. Use KENDALL on the book. Go back to the machines at the back, and put your packet of Zork Rocks under the tap in the drinks machine. Buy the "Blam Classic". Pick up the Zork Rocks and go down the corridor. At the end, turn right and put them in the 6th locker. (The dungeon master's locker -- broken one on the 2nd row, one from the left.) Stand back and watch the door being blown off. Pick up the dungeon master's identity card. Look at locker #11, which should be open now that you have bought the corresponding candy. This is Mir Yannick's locker. Pick up the purple capsule. Look at the brown book. Cast KENDALL on it to simplify the instructions. Read the other books if you want to. Turn to the door with the box beside it, and use Yannick's card in it. The door will open, and you will be facing a rope bridge with a six-armed invisible guy waving his six swords around on it. Don't use your sword on him unless you want to be chopped, sliced & diced into little chunks. Instead, use your sword on the bridge's ropes. The bridge will fall down, bringing the six-armed invisible guy with it. Use GOLGATEM to make another, better bridge over the water that came from Flood Control Dam #3 -- that you just busted. Walk across the bridge, and to the right is a box of BEBURTT scroll sheets. Pick one up. There are six machines, and what they do are above them. Use the scroll sheet in the machines in the following order: ORIGINATION MODIFICATION REPLICATION INTERPRETATION TRANSMOGRIFICATION to make the BEBURTT spell. Pick up the scroll, and run it through the spell checker. Also run the OBIDIL scroll through it. Use the teleportrr to go to the crossroads. Crossroads Go to the umbrella tree, and cast BEBURTT on it. The umbrella-shaped blossoms will open, and the ZIMDOR scroll will drop out. Go to the dungeon master's lair. Dungeon Master's Lair Use the purple capsule on the snapdragon. When it is asleep, use your sword to cut it off. Then put the snapdragon on the mushroom thingy on the side of the dungeon master's house, and use your hammer on it. You will end up with half a torn SNAVIG scroll. Go back to the front of the house and cast ZIMDOR on the mead light beer in the birdbath to triplicate it. That gets rid of Harry, the alarm system. Go inside the house and click on the blinds. Quickly, use OBIDIL on Hugh (the castle). When you're inside him, look up at his heart and pick up the NARWILE scroll. Go back into the house, and pick up from the bookshelf: the glazed hungus lard, hotbugs & the Flatheadia fudge. There is a tree in the corner of the dungeon master's house. Pick up the red cup hanging a green vine near the tree, and then click on the tree trunk. Use the cup, hotbugs, moss, & the fudge on it, and go outside. Use the lard on the quelbee nest to drive away the bees, remove it and then use your sword on the hive to get the honeycomb. Use the lard and the honeycomb on the tree inside, & you will get the YASTARD spell. Drink the steaming cup of cocoa. Then go into the dungeon master's room, and pick up the rest of the SNAVIG scroll off the windowsill. Go into the mirror, and put half the SNAVIG scroll into your viewer, and use the other half on it to join them together. Exit the backwards room, and in the normal room, open the wardrobe door, and use NARWILE on the time tunnel. Open inventory, and use YASTARD on the griff totem. You will be sent to the White House. Go to the side of the house and pick up the GLORF scroll. Open the mailbox in the front and get out the envelope. Put it under the viewer in your inventory, and put the GLORF spell inside it. Put the envelope into the mailbox, and close it. Then put the flag up, and go back to through the time tunnel. Go to Hades. Hades Pick up the reciever of the red phone, and use KENDALL on the phone. Follow the instructions to call the shuttle. Charon will come with his boat. Give him 2 zorkmids. When you're at the Gates of Hell, open the letterbox, and use the letter opener on the envelope to get the GLORF spell. Go back to Charon and cast SNAVIG on him, to change your appearance to his. Go to the 2 headed purple monster, and check out under Charon's name. The gates will open. Brog's totem is in Hell. Pick it up -- it's near the door. Use NARWILE on the time tunnel, and then YASTARD on Griff. The Great Sea Fly to the other foot of the dragon. Pull the rightmost toe. Fly to the belly and get the blowup raft and sea captain. Fly to the hand with the skeleton on it, and get the air pump. Fly to the dragon's head, and stick the captain in one nostril, and the raft in the other. Inflate both of them. Save game here, in case you stuff up in the next bit. Fly into the dragon's mouth, and pick up the Coconut of Quendor from the dragon's throat. Look down, and the guy will talk to you and throw you a rope. Pick up the rope, and the dragon's yellow, shrivelled tooth. Face away from the throat, and look up into the nostrils. Put the coconut into the raft. Fly outside. Use the rope to tie the raft and the captain together. Go back inside. Use the shrivelled tooth to puncture the captain. Get the hell outa there, before the dragon closes his mouth & goes back under! Pick up the coconut from the raft, and Hugh will come. Put the Cocout of Quendor on one of the red cushions inside him. Exit through the time tunnel. When you're back in Hell, use SNAVIG on the 2 headed monster and Charon will take you back. Go to the spell room in GUE Tech. Run GLORF through the spell checker. Go back to the crossroads. Crossroads Go back up the stairs, up to the well, and cast GLORF on the rope to untie it. Pick up the rope, and go to the dungeon master's house. Dungeon Master's Lair Go into the Dungeon Master's room, and use NARWILE on Brog to send him to the White House. The White House Go down the path to the two torches, and pick up the Flickering Torch. Use the Flickering Torch on the Bickering Torch, and he will agree to let you bring him along. Pull off the boards covering the door of the White House, and you will get a plank of wood. Go inside. Enter the Grue's breeding grounds, and pick up an egg. Go back up to the house, and in a corner, near the door is a little stone thing. Because the BickeringTorch has gone out, you will have to use the Flickering Torch on the stone thing to light it, and use the egg in the stone thing to cook it. Go back into the Grue Breeding grounds and eat the rocks near the ramp until Brog is full. Throw the egg at the hole of the cave filled with light. Then click on the cave, and you will see the Skull of Yoruk in a metal thing with three chess boards around it. Brog is too dumb to be able to play chess, so smash the thing with the plank of wood, and pick up the Skull of Yoruk. Put the skull onto one of the red cushions inside Hugh, and go back through the time tunnel. Go to the Underground Station. Go to the monastery. Monastery Face the rubble, and look up. Open the inventory, and place the rope under the viewer. Use the sword with the rope, and throw the rope+sword into the hole above. Climb the rope. When you get into the monastery (the same one from Zork Nemesis), you will be facing this thing on the totemizer with a green light. Go closer, and press the button for "To the Hall of Inquisition". Then click out, go forward and face the totemizer. Click near the middle of it, and turn the wheel that's on the thingy under the yellow light. This will turn off the yellow light. Then turn the totemizer on. You will go to the Hall of Inquistion. Turn around and get Lucy's totem from the bin you were dumped in after going throught the totemizer. Go through the door at the other end of the room, to go outside. Near the door, on the left is a metal box. Press the button to open it, and pick up the middle hammer. Go back inside, and look at the display named: "Closint the time tunnels". Pull the lever towards you as far as you can, and press the red button. The hammer will break. Put the one you found outside in the guy's hand, and press the red button again. This will break the door. Use NARWILE on the time tunnel, and YASTARD on the Lucy totem. This will send you to Port Foozle. Port Foozle -- between Inquisitions Go into the bar, which is Antharia Jack's place. It is Ladie's Night. Go inside, and walk straight up to the bar. Then turn around, and on the glass case, pick up the cards. Go back near the door -- but don't go out. Turn to the right, and zoom in on the dart board. Use the card with the 4 dots on it. Then go back to the glass case you got the cards from, put the cards you have in the slots following order: 5, 1, 2, 3, so that the display reads: 5 ? 1 - 2 = 3. Then you will get to play "Strip Grue, Fire, Water" with Antharia Jack. I don't think it is possible to loose -- I've tried, because Lucy's got so many undergarments. When you win the Cube of Foundation, put it on the last cushion inside Hugh. Then exit. Monastery You will be facing Yannick and another guy. They will throw you in jail. When you're in your cell, pick up the poster on the wall that says "25 minutes waiting from this point". Then look at the vent. Let Antharia Jack talk to you. He will give the LEXDOM scroll to you. Use the letter-opener on the vent to unscrew the cover and get the scroll. Use the scroll on the cell door. Put the poster under the door. Use your letter-opener to push the key out of the keyhole and onto the poster. Pull the poster, get the key and let yourself out of the cell. Turn left, and go to the control station to the left of camera 43-39. Under the TV screen, change the numbers & letters so that it reads 31-AB. Press the red button. Antharia will be freed, give you your stuff, and then Hugh will come. You will end up on Flathead Mesa. Flathead Mesa The Enchantress Y'Gael will give you the BOOZNIK scroll. Cast it on your spellbook to reverse all the spells. Get the Coconut of Quendor, the Cube of Foundation and the Skull of Yoruk. Go out to the open tent near the broadcasting tower. Use VORZER on the tent to seal the tent. (One of the guards says, "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"...... Someone watches South Park...) Zoom in on the Tower, but don't touch the electrical barrier. Use MARIG on the barrier to turn the invisible electric fence purple. Pull the plug attached to the fence, and slash a hole in it with your sword. Go through the fence, and at the base of the ladder, there is a metal lid. Lift it up, and put the Skull of Yoruk into the niche. Climb the ladder, and in the cube- shaped hole, place the Cube of Foundation. Climb up again, and put the Coconut of Quendor on one side of the balance and put the lantern on the other side to even it out. Climb up to the very top and use your sword on the metal rod. Cast MAXOV on the tower to join the magics of the items. Congratulations. You have finished Zork Grand Inquisitor. You, your totems, Dalboz of Gurth -- the 3rd Dungeon Master and the Grand Inquisitor are thrown from the tower. You are caught by Griff, Lucy is caught by Jack, and Brog's fall is broken by his head. Dalboz finally dies, after many past attempts of suicide (if you read his diary), along with the Grand Inquisitor. A shockwave of magic sweeps over all of Zork, Lucy becomes rightful heir to the throne, and you, AFGNCAAP, are named by Lucy the 4th Dungeon Master of Zork. The End By D¤Mt.